


Reaching

by imadra_blue



Category: Noein
Genre: After Episode 2, Angst, Canon - Anime, Drama, M/M, One Shot, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-06-06
Packaged: 2018-02-03 14:29:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1747928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imadra_blue/pseuds/imadra_blue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fukurou knows he's losing Karasu to the past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reaching

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Erin_C](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erin_C/gifts).



> Set after Episode 2. Written on request for Erin guessing both my Yuletide 2013 fics!

...

Karasu moved just out of Fukurou's reach, so when Fukurou reached out, he grasped only empty air. Fukurou frowned, but Karasu only walked away in response, his only sound that of his feet drumming upon the metal walkways. Though they had already reached their quarters, Fukurou could still hear the hum of the REIZU Simulator in his ears. Other Dragon Knights pushed past him down the labyrinthine corridors to their own quarters.

Fukurou took a moment to reflect on whether he would let that stand. The cold pit in his stomach, gnawing at him as it slowly grew, propelled him after Karasu. His legs were much longer, and he'd always been faster, so this time, when he reached out, he gripped Karasu's bony shoulder.

"What's your problem?" Fukurou demanded, not releasing his grip, even when Karasu tried to pull away again.

Karasu glanced back, his eyes hard and sharp. "Right now, you."

"I'm not your problem. But I will be, if you don't tell me what's bothering you."

"Why is it that you never leave me alone?"

"Because you don't really want to be left alone. You never did, even during all those fits you used to throw as a kid."

Karasu finally shrugged Fukurou's hand off, but mostly because he let Karasu go. "Don't tell me what I really want."

"Haruka."

Karasu froze, but he did not turn around. Even his cloak stilled.

Fukurou sighed. "You want Haruka. You want her more than you ever wanted Isami. You want her more than Isami ever wanted Ai. There's not a big enough word to describe how much you want Haruka back."

"Go to hell."

"Already there," Fukurou called out after the retreating figure of his friend. "Food's disgusting."

…

Karasu no doubt thought he was being clever by perching on one of the huge arches that stretched over the pit of their underground complex, but Fukurou knew all Karasu's hiding spots. Finding him wasn't even hard. Fukurou only had to look for a head of gleaming silver hair. He sat down beside Karasu on the stone and handed him his cup of gruel likely made from insects. Fukurou pulled out a spoon and dug into his own. It was disgusting, but at least it was something. If he used his imagination, he could pretend the gray-white goop was yogurt. Expired yogurt, but yogurt all the same.

Glaring, Karasu took the cup. He put up no fight as he opened it and started spoon it into his own mouth. He'd never once complained about the food. Fukurou wasn't sure if it was because Karasu's taste buds were dead—he'd never been as much into food as Fukurou—or if Haruka's death had simply left Karasu completely apathetic towards everything. Fukurou was inclined to believe the latter.

"You know the Dragon Torque's not her, right?" Fukurou asked, halfway through his cup.

Karasu looked up. It was clear he understood the reference. "I know that."

"And the boy with her wasn't you, either. They're not real. None of them."

Karasu looked away. "What even is real?"

"This is real. Unpleasant, but real." Fukurou grabbed Karasu's wrist. "I'm real."

Karasu pulled away again. "Maybe you ought to see if the Lady Amamiku is interested." His tone was cold enough to frost over what remained of the sun. His outline cut a sharp profile against the top of the dimly lit archways.

Fukurou sighed. "Isami and Ai dated. Briefly. But Fukurou and the Lady Amamiku both know their places. And those places are not at each other's side. My place is by your side, in the Dragon Knights. Her place is with the other scientists."

"You really think Fukurou and Lady Amamiku aren't the same as Isami and Ai?"

"Do you think Karasu is the same as Yuu?"

Karasu stared at him. "But you started with me when you were Isami."

"But I never got very far until I was Fukurou. Things change. People change."

"Haruka didn't. She was a fixed point. The rest of us changed. We all even look different. But not Haruka. She was always the same. She was always Haruka, even when her hair grew out silver."

"You think so?" Fukurou looked up. "I think she did change. I think she's still here, but not as Haruka. She's part of the quantum computers that protect us. That's the biggest change of them all."

Karasu looked away and finished his gruel cup.

"Will you come back and rest now?" Fukurou asked. "Forget this nonsense about the past?"

Karasu shrugged.

…

Fukurou woke when Karasu left the bed. What warmth Karasu possessed, he took with him. Fukurou sighed and watched Karasu dress. He had intended their night to offer Karasu some comfort, some stability, but he wondered if Karasu had only appeased him when he agreed to spend the night with Fukurou. If he'd always been appeasing Fukurou, never really appreciating the touch and the affection that came with it.

It was almost painful to see Karasu naked. He was all skin and bones, much like he'd always been, but he'd never been so pale as now, and his body hadn't revealed such tense lines since Haruka died. Fukurou could already feel Karasu slipping away, forever. He'd always known what Karasu gave him was temporary, but that knowledge did not ease the sting of it. Karasu was all he had left. Isami's family was dead, Miho was broken, Ai out of his reach, and Haruka as good as dead.

"Where are you going?" Fukurou asked.

Karasu glanced back as he shouldered on his cloak. "For a walk."

"To admire the beautiful landscape?"

The look Karasu gave him could have withered a cactus. Fukurou continued to study him, never moving from his prone position on the bed. He'd never put words to his feeling for Karasu—or for Yuu—but now it was easy enough. He felt abandoned. Alone.

"You're a good friend," Karasu said after a moment, and slipped out, cloak fluttering behind him. An unspoken, "But that's all," hung in the air after him.


End file.
